Choking on my own angst

fuck. fuck fuck. fuck.

i feel crazy. i'm chet baker. "iiiiii fall in love to easily.... i fall in love to faaaaaaast". had some meaninglessness mess. now i feel sort of odd.
can't find a connection with the right women. grasping at walls. walls with great curves that i am not touching. sometimes i want to be a dog and just........ you know.

i saw "the new world" today. it made me feel calm. and lonely too. i have friends though.

i think i may have moved beyond being approcable, although i am not certain. when will this drought end i wonder.

blue once again