wine to my head

birthday/hallowe'en party last night.


god i'm hung over.
i feel like shit.
my bad.

I'm all in. focus

concentrating 98% on music. the other two on school, surfing, and whatever else comes along. its pretty riduculous. I have been having band practices three or four nights a week for up too 6 hours and no less then two or three. and on the nights i'm not with the band i'm practicing on my own. insane. i am still managing to do well in school though, all A's.

The good thing about all this music, is that i have been feeling somewhat withdrawn from all my old friends, and have been barely talking to anyone. It makes me feel a little lonely. which sucks, and is odd for me, i never tend to feel lonely. So dumping everything into music is helping me get past that. i hope i play some shows soon because i know, for me that is the best way to met a lovley lady. I think thats what i need, gots ta find me a girl.

in other news Benji, the drummer in my band, has just booked us two weeks worth of shows in Nice. so i'm off to france in the spring to play music. hellz yes. HALLLLLLLZ Yes. anyway. i am getting my new surf board finished real soon. i can't wait. all costum for me ho hoo!

that was pretty random.

8foot walls look like ....8foot walls

All i can concentrate on is waves. I sit in class knowing i should be listening(i sure as hell don't though!) and stare at the wall, imagining that it is a wave and i am riding along it as fast as i can before it closes down. the last two weekends i have gone up surfing and camping and surfed friday and saturday. i can think of nothing else. on the bus i look out the window of the double deckers and imagine i am about to drop down into a wave and fly along the wall it creates as it hits the beach.
I have gotten to a point now in my surfing that i can really fly along the waves. it is so smooth and fast. one or two pumps and i am screaming along just infront of the peeling lip of the wave narrowly avoiding a brutal pummeling by the thundering explosions of whitewater crashing down at my heals. One slip or hesitation and it is upon me, thrashing and tumbling me into the rocks at the shore, holding me down and trapping me amoungst the kelp.
This limbo between disaster and divinity keeps the adreniline rushing so hard that all you hear is your heart pumping in your ears, as you loose yourself in the moment and let your subconcious react at speeds your waking thoughts never could.
Sitting in the water with no one around for as far as you see. Out in the kelp a heron takes off as a bull sealion surfaces and asserts its dominance with a cacophony of barks, breaking the silence.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFCUKFUCKFFFFKK!!!!!!!!
i am addicted like a whore to crack.

update

hmmmmmm, let's get back up to date. well,

i have been meandering through school at a bit of a relaxed pace lately; now i'm just auditing mandarin and not really showing up. i really think it will go okay though. the school thing that is. my focus right now though is certainly music, with a good serving of surf on the side. i have been playing with my band a lot and getting to know them a bit better, they are interesting and british.
i have been playing music just about every night and really it is all that is on my mind.

that and waves. i went surfing on friday and saturday and got perfect 6-8 foot waves all to myself with my buddy nathan. we surfed 3 hours friday which was somewhat tiring. then we camped in his newly restored purple vw pop top camper van whihc was pretty nice. then we surfed from 9:30 to 2 on saturday. a marathon session. and i say that beacuse i figure i feel like a marathon runner must feel the day after a race, today. it was pretty well nonstop paddleling for the whole time yesterday. i am used up. it was sensational. best surf i've had since the last good one. maybe in costa rica.

a day of surfing is really an amazing thing too. it satisfies me for a long time after. it's zen like.

thats as good as i get right now. i get good. music surfing and what not. and dating girls with boyfriends. but thats another story. (fuck) later